What are people supposed to do with their lives? Have any of you ever asked yourself this question? I’ve been thinking about this a lot since I moved to the States. I mean, is it all about happiness, luck and love? Is it all about success, personal or professional? Is everything that we do meant to be the way it is or is it just all one big coincidence?
I believe in destiny. I believe that there is always a reason for how things turn out. For example, I believe that attending the Gymnasium (German college preparatory school) didn’t only give me the chance to go to college. No, it also made me meet Nadine, one of my best friends. Nadine has also always been a big USA fan. So she went to Connecticut in 2001 for one year to be an Au Pair. I visited her twice in that year and that let me become a big USA fan, too. This led me to the wish to do an internship in the States, which I did in New Hampshire in 2004. By doing this internship I met a lot of Germans who told me that they won the Green Card in the lottery. And that’s the reason why I started joining the Green Card Lottery. You know the rest of the story. 😉
But I keep thinking if I hadn’t decided to go to that Gymnasium I wouldn’t have met Nadine and maybe things may have turned out differently. Who knows?! But that shows me that it was supposed to be like this. At least I think so.
Now, I am here. And I am always wondering if I did the right thing by moving to the US. It’s definitely not that I regret it. I’m always just wondering if I should have done something different. Was it meant to be? It is so hard to start a new life on your own. I don’t think that anyone who hasn’t made that experience could understand what that means. I wasn’t even naive. I moved here with the expectation that it would be hard. But sometimes it’s just overwhelming me. I feel like there are always big rocks in my way. And I can try and try… as soon as I got one out of my way there is already the next one waiting. I don’t want to complain, I wanted to do this step and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy. I had big plans before I moved here. As soon as I crossed the border the plans were all gone. 😉 So I guess, after 21 months I just got a little exhausted.
However, every night before I go to bed I review my day and think about the things that are going on in my life. Every morning, I wake up newly motivated and full of energy to go through all of this. I guess, that’s the reason why I haven’t given up yet. But it changed me. It made me serious in all kinds of ways. In Germany, during my visit, so many people told me that I’ve grown up so much. I became an adult. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s not. I’m pretty sure the goofy kid is still in there, somewhere inside of me. I just need to have some more patience and it’s all going to be alright. Then I can let my kid out again! 🙂
To all the people who think about emigrating and starting a whole new life in another country: Be prepared, it’s definitely not easy! I don’t want to scare you or take your motivation away. You just need to know: Keep your head up and don’t let the things drag you down. It takes a while until everything will be as you’ve imagined it. But when you’ve dreamed about this for as long as I did, fight for it! Don’t give up… eventually it’s all going to be worth it.
“Amen” 😉 (It just sounds as if it requires one! :D)
Wow…that was a very philosophical blog entry this time! 🙂 I just thought that this might be of interest for people. I’ve been thinking about those things since I moved here. And when people think about starting a new life they should know what to expect.