Destiny vs. Chance

What are people supposed to do with their lives? Have any of you ever asked yourself this question? I’ve been thinking about  this a lot since I moved to the States. I mean, is it all about happiness, luck and love? Is it all about success, personal or professional? Is everything that we do meant to be the way it is or is it just all one big coincidence?

I believe in destiny. I believe that there is always a reason for how things turn out. For example, I believe that attending the Gymnasium (German college preparatory school) didn’t only give me the chance to go to college. No, it also made me meet Nadine, one of my best friends. Nadine has also always been a big USA fan. So she went to Connecticut in 2001 for one year to be an Au Pair. I visited her twice in that year and that let me become a big USA fan, too. This led me to the wish to do an internship in the States, which I did in New Hampshire in 2004. By doing this internship I met a lot of Germans who told me that they won the Green Card in the lottery. And that’s the reason why I started joining the Green Card Lottery. You know the rest of the story. 😉

But I keep thinking if I hadn’t decided to go to that Gymnasium I wouldn’t have met Nadine and maybe things may have turned out differently. Who knows?! But that shows me that it was supposed to be like this. At least I think so.

Now, I am here. And I am always wondering if I did the right thing by moving to the US. It’s definitely not that I regret it. I’m always just wondering if I should have done something different. Was it meant to be? It is so hard to start a new life on your own. I don’t think that anyone who hasn’t made that experience could understand what that means. I wasn’t even naive. I moved here with the expectation that it would be hard. But sometimes it’s just overwhelming me. I feel like there are always big rocks in my way. And I can try and try… as soon as I got one out of my way there is already the next one waiting. I don’t want to complain, I wanted to do this step and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy. I had big plans before I moved here. As soon as I crossed the border the plans were all gone.  😉 So I guess, after 21 months I just got a little exhausted.

However, every night before I go to bed I review my day and think about the things that are going on in my life. Every morning, I wake up newly motivated and full of energy to go through all of this. I guess, that’s the reason why I haven’t given up yet. But it changed me. It made me serious in all kinds of ways. In Germany, during my visit, so many people told me that I’ve grown up so much. I became an adult. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s not. I’m pretty sure the goofy kid is still in there, somewhere inside of me. I just need to have some more patience and it’s all going to be alright. Then I can let my  kid out again! 🙂


To all the people who think about emigrating and starting a whole new life in another country: Be prepared, it’s definitely not easy! I don’t want to scare you or take your motivation away. You just need to know: Keep your head up and don’t let the things drag you down. It takes a while until everything will be as you’ve imagined it. But when you’ve dreamed about this for as long as I did, fight for it! Don’t give up… eventually it’s all going to be worth it.


“Amen” 😉      (It just sounds as if it requires one! :D)


Wow…that was a very philosophical blog entry this time! 🙂 I just thought that this might be of interest for people. I’ve been thinking about those things since I moved here. And when people think about starting a new life they should know what to expect.



There are 4 comments left Go To Comment

  1. Jennie /

    How do they say: Everything happens for a reason! We live in Miami now for about 15 months and although it is pretty different from what we expected it to be, I can honestly say that I don’t regret this big step. We probably won’t stay in the US for the rest of our lifes but I think this move was neccessary for us to grow up and find out what we truly want our lifes to be like. So again: Everything happens for a reason!!

    Keep it up!

    Jennie 😉

  2. Jan /

    Destiny or not is probably one of the oldest questions there is and will be…
    Anyhow, I reckon I know exactly what you are going through over there. I lived in San Diego for 2,5 years and directly after that for almost the same time in Australia. Then I moved back to Germany. I clearly remember all the up and downs at that time and since then. The worst thing of it all is that you probably will never feel 100% home anywhere from now on – kreisch!!!. I know how I left SD & OZ and was sure I wouldn’t regret it (as I missed Germany – esp. family & friends; and Germany ain’t too bad in summer time) – but right after a few weeks I did and thought I made the biggest mistake of my life… Most likely it is always like this: When you are in Germany (home) you want to go abroad. And when you are abroad everything seems to be perfect from the getgo but after a few months the same questions & strange feelings pop up and somehow you start missing Germany after all… I know the whole experience changed me – not quite sure if “growing up” is the right term though.
    The major downside of it all is that somehow it feels like a tiny broken dream, that is, before I went to the US it seemed to be the perfect idea and best place in the world. Now after I have seen it all I figure there is always two sides to a story – sadly, even to this one. I guess I will always be torn between (at least) 2 places. Only solution I see is to have free access to a Concorde² like supersonic jet and travel in no time either to SD or Germany – whatever I feel like in the morning.

    1. erika /

      I found this blog totally by chance… and here it is!
      Jan, I just share your feelings and your experience except for the fact that in the past I lived between London (U.K) and Trieste (Italy). Sadly I came back to Italy to get a physio degree and actually regret it since the first day ( I mean moving back to Italy, not the physio degree) Now, I am just trying to understand where I wanna be in the world as in the past I experience the same ups & downs that you are talking about both aboard and in my own country.
      I have no idea what the future holds, but I am dreaming of Australia, Canada & California with or without a Concorde supersonic jet 😉
      I guess that a first step could be apply for the green lottery! 🙂

  3. Tina / Post Author

    Applying for the green card sounds like a good idea! I don’t regret that at all. And it keeps my possibilities open. Now, I could live in both countries. I know that I could always go back to Germany, if I wanted to.

    Thanks for your comment and reading my blog. I hope you like it!


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