• Update #1 – No job in Boston, but a move around the corner

    Wow, am I reliable, huh? 😉 I know, I promised a post that night of my apology…well, didn’t work out. Hehe…

    Anyway, I was thinking about where to start best for my updates and I think the first thing is this:

    In July, I applied for a position as an Officer Manager with a company called Polytec. They have their headquarters in Irvine, CA just an hour away from here, but the job was posted for Hopkinton, which is a small town close to Boston, MA. Yes, the east coast. I was really considering to move to the east coast. The job sounded really interesting and seemed like it would provide lots of opportunities to grow. So, I applied. I got a response very soon and so it started. I talked to 4 different people within that company at all kinds of locations within the States. Then I was invited to an interview at their headquarters in Irvine. The interview went really well and took almost two hours. I left the building with a really good feeling.

    In the same time the 1-year lease of my apartment was over. So, my property management wanted to know, if I wanted to renew the lease for another year or if I would like to continue with a month-to-month lease. Since I wasn’t sure what was going to happen and it looked really promising with the job in Boston, I decided to continue with a month-to-month lease.

    Well, Polytec didn’t contact me after the interview for three weeks, even not on follow-up emails on my part. And then suddenly one Friday night, I receive an email that said: Sorry, we have chosen someone else. WTH? What happened? I don’t know… and to be honest, I also didn’t feel like asking. I was pretty disappointed. But well… That’s life!

    So, I went back to my normal misery everyday life, where I am looking for jobs. Anyway… one day, I got a voice message from my property management. In the message, the lady said, she needed to talk to me about a letter that she received from the owner of my apartment. Oh man, I suspected the worst. That didn’t sound good at all.

    And guess what?! I was right! My landlord got separated from her husband and wanted her place back!!! She was pretty much just waiting for me to not renew my lease for another year! Bitch! So what did that mean? I had 60 days to find a new place. AGAIN!! And I was so happy in my studio. I finally felt home in there and then she wanted to kick me out? Just like that? I couldn’t believe it.

    Well, since I am the kind of person that wants to resolve those things as fast as possible, I started looking for a new place right away. I didn’t find something ideal, but I found something easy. In the same complex, a GERMAN couple (I know what a coincidence 🙂 ) wanted to rent out their place for one year because they wanted to go back to Germany. So I pulled my I’m-German-too card and got the place. It’s really not ideal because they rented it out furnished and I do have my own furniture, too. But the good part is, the apt is has a small den (a maybe 80 sqft room) that I am using as the “storage” now. I managed to put the entire furnishing into that room. Which is really awesome because it saves me the money for a storage room. And the people wouldn’t have liked me to put their furniture into storage anyway. So, perfect! 🙂

    It’s just, you know… It’s someone else’s place and they will come back. So, it’s again not mine. I don’t feel home there and I will have to look for something else soon again. Hopefully that will finally be something more permanent.

  • At Heart… German? American?

    Over the weekend someone asked me if I would ever defend this country as if I were a truly part of it.

    I was asked that question because every once in a while, here and there, I compare things in the US with things in Germany. But this person feels offended by it and has the opinion that I always find something that I don’t like in and about America. Of course, this is not the case! I moved to this country and left mine and my entire family and friends behind. If that doesn’t mean everything!?!

    I think there are lots of great things about the US, but I just haven’t forgotten the good things about Germany either. And every once in a while, especially in moments where I miss my family and friends a little bit more, I notice the not so good things about America or the really good things about Germany a little more. Both countries do have their pros but also their cons. That’s just the way it is!  And I don’t think that I have to like everything about this country.

    So my answer was – to be honest: I don’t think so. I don’t think I will ever feel like an American regardless of how much I like or appreciate this country.

    But who knows… maybe I’m wrong. It might happen… I just don’t think like that now.

    I am really interested, though, how other emigrants feel about this. Has anyone of you gotten so used to a country that you feel like you truly belong there… that you feel like one of them at heart and not just on paper?

  • Destiny vs. Chance

    What are people supposed to do with their lives? Have any of you ever asked yourself this question? I’ve been thinking about  this a lot since I moved to the States. I mean, is it all about happiness, luck and love? Is it all about success, personal or professional? Is everything that we do meant to be the way it is or is it just all one big coincidence?

    I believe in destiny. I believe that there is always a reason for how things turn out. For example, I believe that attending the Gymnasium (German college preparatory school) didn’t only give me the chance to go to college. No, it also made me meet Nadine, one of my best friends. Nadine has also always been a big USA fan. So she went to Connecticut in 2001 for one year to be an Au Pair. I visited her twice in that year and that let me become a big USA fan, too. This led me to the wish to do an internship in the States, which I did in New Hampshire in 2004. By doing this internship I met a lot of Germans who told me that they won the Green Card in the lottery. And that’s the reason why I started joining the Green Card Lottery. You know the rest of the story. 😉

    But I keep thinking if I hadn’t decided to go to that Gymnasium I wouldn’t have met Nadine and maybe things may have turned out differently. Who knows?! But that shows me that it was supposed to be like this. At least I think so.

    Now, I am here. And I am always wondering if I did the right thing by moving to the US. It’s definitely not that I regret it. I’m always just wondering if I should have done something different. Was it meant to be? It is so hard to start a new life on your own. I don’t think that anyone who hasn’t made that experience could understand what that means. I wasn’t even naive. I moved here with the expectation that it would be hard. But sometimes it’s just overwhelming me. I feel like there are always big rocks in my way. And I can try and try… as soon as I got one out of my way there is already the next one waiting. I don’t want to complain, I wanted to do this step and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy. I had big plans before I moved here. As soon as I crossed the border the plans were all gone.  😉 So I guess, after 21 months I just got a little exhausted.

    However, every night before I go to bed I review my day and think about the things that are going on in my life. Every morning, I wake up newly motivated and full of energy to go through all of this. I guess, that’s the reason why I haven’t given up yet. But it changed me. It made me serious in all kinds of ways. In Germany, during my visit, so many people told me that I’ve grown up so much. I became an adult. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s not. I’m pretty sure the goofy kid is still in there, somewhere inside of me. I just need to have some more patience and it’s all going to be alright. Then I can let my  kid out again! 🙂


    To all the people who think about emigrating and starting a whole new life in another country: Be prepared, it’s definitely not easy! I don’t want to scare you or take your motivation away. You just need to know: Keep your head up and don’t let the things drag you down. It takes a while until everything will be as you’ve imagined it. But when you’ve dreamed about this for as long as I did, fight for it! Don’t give up… eventually it’s all going to be worth it.


    “Amen” 😉      (It just sounds as if it requires one! :D)


    Wow…that was a very philosophical blog entry this time! 🙂 I just thought that this might be of interest for people. I’ve been thinking about those things since I moved here. And when people think about starting a new life they should know what to expect.